Sunday, October 19, 2008 @ 10:19:00 PM
Nokia N70
I finally got my old Nokia N70 up and running after decades of it collecting dust at a lonely corner. I was too bored so I started going through my old messages.
There were sweet ones.
There were bitter ones.
There were encouragements.
There were vulgaraties.
I really wonder, why did I subject myself to such misery. Looking back, I can only say that I was stupid, and blind. It was clear that all connections wanted to be broken, but I still held on, for no reason. I would say now, if I were in the same situation, I will never allow myself to be treated in this manner.
"You know something? It's okay to be forsaken, but never forsake yourself."
"Hey, just dropping by to say, whatever happens, don't think too much. :) sorry i'm too tired to be amazing today. I fell asleep while standing even."
"Hey :-) u worried me just now. Don't think too much k. Though I knw its easier said than done. Don't cry okay? C ur eyes also sore le. Nt pretty alrdy. Lastly, don't smile like tat k. U're always puttin up a strong front."
Although I've been through hell, and out of it, the pain still sticks around. That period was hurtful, was torturous, was pure shit.
"I know you're upset, and i know i probably can't do anything bout it also. But i just wanna say, cheer up."
"Throw everyth on me then. I'm willing to take it from u."
The day he came to take back his stuff, I cried endless buckets. I didn't want to go through it, cause just the thought of it brings a literal pain to my heart.
"You gotta go through it. And you're right. No one can help you. But we'll be there for you, whenever you need. Backing your decision."
And you were there, always. I hated you, I talked to you, I befriended you then I hated you. Really, it's a love-hate relationship. I threw all my sadness onto you, you silently took it from me. I forgot you when I felt better, but you didn't make a sound. I have nothing to give, just a space in my heart, and you've walked right in.
"Bit by bit u wil move on, dun let tis rob u of yr joy."
"U may tink u r under the soil now, but yr frens and family wil sow new seeds of love,hope and all gd tings, unto u as long as u allow them. These wil sprout and u wil become new and strong to face the world. Tis wil be the experience that u wil share when 1 of yr frens happen to be like u now."
Then there was her. We cursed together, I poured my sorrows out to her. She was my other source of comfort. I couldn't laugh, I couldn't smile, I couldn't be happy. It was tough, but she was always there. Bosom buddies forever, love.
"whether ya see/dont see him later, dont falter k? stay strong, you're a love. you'll be able to face. :)"
"yesterday's weakensss shouldn bring forward to today. tell youself ya cant repeat yest's mistake. :)"
Friends. Thank you.
Labels: Life
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