Monday, November 08, 2010 @ 7:07:00 PM
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
“My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other that we used to have. I guess I don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do?”
“The feeling isn’t there anymore?” I inquired.
“That’s right” he reaffirmed. “And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”
“Love her.” I replied.
“I told you, the feeling of love just isn’t there anymore.”
“Love her.”
“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.”
“Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there that’s a good reason to love her.”
“But how do you love when you don’t love?”
“My friend, love is a verb. Love -- the feeling -- is a fruit of love -- the verb. So love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?"
Excerpt from Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People"
Tuesday, January 20, 2009 @ 12:56:00 AM
Vanishing Acts
It's nice to know that the atomic bomb missed your house, but you will be cleaning up the rubble for some time before your front path is clear.
As it turns out, I don't want to write a story of her life. I want a series.
"Stop thinking," Delia says, the same advice I once gave to her. She leans forward and, jubilant, kisses me.
Labels: Book
Tuesday, January 13, 2009 @ 11:53:00 PM
Vanishing Acts
She rubs at an invisible ink mark on the sink counter. ‘There are two kinds of love, mija. In the safe kind, you look for someone who’s exactly like you. It’s what most folks settle for. But then there’s the other kind of love. Everyone’s born with a ragged edge, and some folks crave the piece that’s a perfect fit. You’ll search for it forever, if you have to. And if you’re lucky enough to find it, it looks so right, you start to tear at your own seams, thinking, maybe I could look just as perfect. But then, of course, when you try to get close to their other half, you don’t fit anymore.’ She looks up at me. ‘That kind of love . . . you come out of it a different person than you were when you started.'
Labels: Book
Tuesday, November 11, 2008 @ 6:42:00 PM
Vanishing Acts
Maybe Fate isn't the pond you swim in but the fisherman floating on top of it, letting you run the line wild until you are weary enough to be reeled back in.
-
Eric nods; he has been there himself - on both ends of the equation. You cannot depend on an alcoholic, so you learn to live for the moments when they are present. You tell yourself you'll leave, but then they do something wonderful that reels you back: host a picnic on the living room floor in January; find the face of Jesus in the pancake; celebrate a cat's birthday by inviting all the other neighbourhood cats for tuna. You use all the good times to paint over the bad, and pretend you can no longer see the grain of wood that she's made of. You watch her wade through sobriety and secretly wish she would drink, because that is when she turns into the person you love; and then you cannot figure out who you hate more: yourself for thinking this, or her for reading your mind.
Eric stares at me, putting together everything I've said so far. 'You loved her. You still love her.'
'I never stopped,' I admit.
Labels: Book
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