Friday, June 24, 2011 @ 5:43:00 PM
Woof Woof!
My frustration is getting the best of me. I get so frustrated whenever the damned bell rings. I am like some watch dog waiting for someone to throw me a bone. While I run to them wagging my tail furiously, my life is slowly draining out of me. Every time the damned bell rings, my anger level raises by a hell lot. Why must I be the one who does this job all the damned time?
My limit was hit its peak yesterday when a fucker rang the bell 4 times consecutively and demanded angrily why did I take so long to answer the door! I was taken aback by his rudeness and replied crudely, oh sorry. He said WHAT? I faked a pleasant apologetic voice and said sorry about that, sir.
Today, whenever the damned bell ring, I heaved a sigh, banged my hand on the table and pretend to be happy. So much that people think I am enjoying this damned job. It’s not that I do not like meeting people, it’s the miniscule work I am doing. I applied to be something else, not a customer service officer. I don’t think you need a degree holder to be a one.
I have past the angry stage. I am now in despair, the heavy rock has settled in. It’s permanent. Just once I hope I can open my eyes and all these had been a very bad dream.
Doing what I dread is one thing I have to carry out each day. Facing exclusion is another. While I have found some whom I can confide in, but it still bugs me. Is there something I am lacking? Is there something wrong with me? With each passing conversation, I am falling apart. I have tried, but I have failed. What you all have is a stronger bond which I am unable to penetrate.
What do I feel?
Alone. Desperate. Pathetic.
And there’s someone, who probably mocks my incompetency. Why do I still have so many doubts about how a system works? Well, because a company wasn’t built in a day. Are you able to answer all questions that I throw at you? I came in one week before you, it doesn’t mean I know more than you. You are able to bend the rules, while I am just a dog, who wags its tail when called.
My limit was hit its peak yesterday when a fucker rang the bell 4 times consecutively and demanded angrily why did I take so long to answer the door! I was taken aback by his rudeness and replied crudely, oh sorry. He said WHAT? I faked a pleasant apologetic voice and said sorry about that, sir.
Today, whenever the damned bell ring, I heaved a sigh, banged my hand on the table and pretend to be happy. So much that people think I am enjoying this damned job. It’s not that I do not like meeting people, it’s the miniscule work I am doing. I applied to be something else, not a customer service officer. I don’t think you need a degree holder to be a one.
I have past the angry stage. I am now in despair, the heavy rock has settled in. It’s permanent. Just once I hope I can open my eyes and all these had been a very bad dream.
Doing what I dread is one thing I have to carry out each day. Facing exclusion is another. While I have found some whom I can confide in, but it still bugs me. Is there something I am lacking? Is there something wrong with me? With each passing conversation, I am falling apart. I have tried, but I have failed. What you all have is a stronger bond which I am unable to penetrate.
What do I feel?
Alone. Desperate. Pathetic.
And there’s someone, who probably mocks my incompetency. Why do I still have so many doubts about how a system works? Well, because a company wasn’t built in a day. Are you able to answer all questions that I throw at you? I came in one week before you, it doesn’t mean I know more than you. You are able to bend the rules, while I am just a dog, who wags its tail when called.
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