Wednesday, October 09, 2013 @ 10:05:00 PM
The Game of Life
Love, life, freedom. The three words that hold the deepest meaning to me. So significant that it's imprinted on me. Literally.
How I wish to love, to be loved. How I want to live life, the way life should be lived. How I love to be free, free of earthly troubles.
Oh, how could I have gone against my beliefs.
I have played my cards of life with many wrong strategies. It's time to make things right. It's not a want, it's a need.
How I wish to love, to be loved. How I want to live life, the way life should be lived. How I love to be free, free of earthly troubles.
Oh, how could I have gone against my beliefs.
I have played my cards of life with many wrong strategies. It's time to make things right. It's not a want, it's a need.
Labels: Reflection
Wednesday, August 08, 2012 @ 12:38:00 AM
Huh?
It seems I've walked into a tunnel of darkness, hoping some day I would somehow reach the end. Thoughts rushing through my head, like wind whistling through the pages of a book. My vision is blurred. Yet, what blur is there when darkness is all that's ahead.
Have I forgotten the world outside? What is it like now? I've been enveloped in this darkness for too long.
Do I walk straight, or do I turn to the left? Am I at a crossroad? Trying to grasp the air in my hands, struggling to find the way out. Have I unknowingly trapped myself in this?
So many questions rushing through my head, like a thousand hammers crashing down on me. The constant pounding in my head. How on earth did I end up in here?
I paused and allowed myself to drop to the ground. Eyes opened wide, ears stretched for the slightest movement or sound. Nothing. Only the pounding in my head and the darkness in front of me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, and saw a green field and a rainbow across the blue sky. Unicorns prancing around the sunflower patch not far beyond. A soft, soothing melody filled the air. I took a deep breath, mmm, smells like the morning dews on the luscious green grass.
Abruptly, I was pulled from my nirvana. There I was, lying on the cold, hard floor, staring at what seems to be the sky.
Have I forgotten the world outside? What is it like now? I've been enveloped in this darkness for too long.
Do I walk straight, or do I turn to the left? Am I at a crossroad? Trying to grasp the air in my hands, struggling to find the way out. Have I unknowingly trapped myself in this?
So many questions rushing through my head, like a thousand hammers crashing down on me. The constant pounding in my head. How on earth did I end up in here?
I paused and allowed myself to drop to the ground. Eyes opened wide, ears stretched for the slightest movement or sound. Nothing. Only the pounding in my head and the darkness in front of me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, and saw a green field and a rainbow across the blue sky. Unicorns prancing around the sunflower patch not far beyond. A soft, soothing melody filled the air. I took a deep breath, mmm, smells like the morning dews on the luscious green grass.
Abruptly, I was pulled from my nirvana. There I was, lying on the cold, hard floor, staring at what seems to be the sky.
Labels: Life, Lunaticism, Reflection
Monday, April 30, 2012 @ 1:31:00 AM
A New Start, to a NEW Life
I haven't been the most productive, or the most eager the past weeks.
I haven been trying to drain the anger and frustration, but it isn't working very well. I guess the anger has been brewing inside for such a long time that it has become a habit. Note to self "Take a deep breath and throw away the angry thoughts".
I want, yet I am afraid. The many obstacles ahead. I am not one who jumps into an ocean and know I will survive. I take every amount of caution in my blood before dipping my toes into the waters.
Don't be defeated by others' words,
Defeat others with self-belief.
Chants in head. I can do this.
I haven been trying to drain the anger and frustration, but it isn't working very well. I guess the anger has been brewing inside for such a long time that it has become a habit. Note to self "Take a deep breath and throw away the angry thoughts".
I want, yet I am afraid. The many obstacles ahead. I am not one who jumps into an ocean and know I will survive. I take every amount of caution in my blood before dipping my toes into the waters.
Don't be defeated by others' words,
Defeat others with self-belief.
Chants in head. I can do this.
Labels: Life, Reflection
Thursday, October 28, 2010 @ 10:51:00 PM
Everyday is Sunday
Today, I finally set foot in the library after many years. I guess my watch-miscellaneous-dramas-marathon has taken the toll on me. I have lost track of time, making me only able to differentiate night from day. Sometimes, I have to check the calendar in order to know what day of the week it is.Back to my point of being in the library, I discovered myself. My choice of books pointed to one similarity. Beside the fact that they had cartoon covers and were mostly pinkish, the lead character shared some resemblance. Does my choice of books reflect who I want to be?
Their perfect job, and
their perfect life (without the twist).
My life so far, has been futile. My job hunt has been unsuccessful, thus leading to the imperfect life I am leading. Should I give up on finding the ideal? However, where does that leave me? Am I taking the step away from my perfect job?
As I circled around the idea of my perfect life, it struck me; perhaps it’s just not meant to be.
Just like the elderly man I saw mopping the floors of the MRT station. I am sure his perfect life isn’t to work till such an age.
After writing how “I have discovered myself”, I believe I have once again, lost myself while in the process of trying to put together my thoughts.
Labels: Reflection
Thursday, March 26, 2009 @ 5:03:00 PM
Forever Fourteen
Do you remember when you were young, all you ever looked forward to was that one hour of playtime with your friends? Afterwhich, returning home to the aroma of cooked food around the house?
There isn't that playground time anymore, because we all look forward to something bigger. Like a holiday, or an adventure far from home.
The thunder and looming dark clouds don't seem to dampen the kids' moods.
Forever 14!
Regression, reminiscence, readjustment, reality.
***
com⋅mu⋅ni⋅cate [kuh-myoo-ni-keyt] verb, -cat⋅ed, -cat⋅ing.
–verb (used with object)
1. to impart knowledge of; make known: to communicate information; to communicate one's happiness.
2. to give to another; impart; transmit: to communicate a disease.
3. to administer the Eucharist to.
4. Archaic. to share in or partake of.
White lies, untold truth, hidden details.
Who isn't guilty of those?
Portions secretly concealed to prevent overwhelming emotions.
"I don't want to hurt you".
"She's my friend".
Confidence, optimism, dedication.
Uncertainty, cynic, betrayal.
Comprehension, nil.
Reveal, can't.
Communication, failed.
Labels: Reflection
Tuesday, March 24, 2009 @ 10:43:00 PM
Dreamless
Sometimes you just get awoken abruptly from the most beautiful dream. Is this rude awakening a reminder that it is all but a dream, and that life is awaiting you.
Absorbing the happiness and pain around;
I felt a stirring foreign emotion.
Is it because I am immune to this virus;
Or there's a larger, more foreboding catastrophe?
Perhaps this is a good thing;
To be oblivious, pretending everything will be fine.
It's time to take a break,
To look at the bigger picture.
Labels: Reflection
Sunday, March 15, 2009 @ 3:46:00 AM
Sinned
How should I put this?
Is this fate, or I deserve this?
A sin, greed. Another sin, pride.
Let me put it this way. It's like finding a hidden treasure, but there's a lion guarding the door. You either don't risk your life over an unknown treasure, or take a gamble and get the treasure.
Well, I took the gamble and the lion bit me.
Guilty as charged.
Don't ask.
Labels: Angerism, blueism, Reflection
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